Meet Milo

MUST READ BEFORE APPLYING Milo, Sovereign Dictator in a Fur Coat, 8 lbs of sheer, unadulterated rage, is actively seeking a brand-new owner to replace his current staff, whom he has thoroughly broken and defeated. Equipped with a full set of needle-sharp teeth and absolutely zero sense of personal scale. Milo will fearlessly attack ankles, passing vacuum cleaners, drifting dust bunnies, and the literal concept of wind. Milo loves affection, provided you execute it with the precision of a bomb squad technician. Petting him one millimeter to the left of his preferred spot will result in an immediate verbal and physical audit. DO NOT attempt to pick him up. Milo is an independent, land-bound apex predator, not a Chanel purse, and he will defend his personal airspace like an angry, furry surface-to-air missile. Excellent security guard. Milo will aggressively inform you that the Amazon delivery driver is on the driveway, the neighbors are breathing outside, or a leaf fell three blocks away. Medical status: early stage renal failure and requires a prescription diet for his remaining life. Ideal Applicant Requirements: Must have a high pain tolerance and a current Tetanus booster. Must be willing to sleep on the extreme edge of your own bed to accommodate Milo’s luxurious center-mattress placement. Must respect Milo's absolute refusal to be carried, scooped, or toted like a high-fashion accessory. Must not make sudden movements, eye contact, or standard breathing noises without prior written approval. No cats, No children, prefers no other pets Milo is compact, adorable, and completely unhinged. If you believe you have what it takes to serve at the pleasure of an 8-pound, ferocious prince whose paws stay strictly on the ground, apply today! Milo has a history of biting with intent. Adopter must agree and sign a liability waiver for biting. His adoption donation is $210 & will include age-appropriate vaccines, microchip, and neuter. Please follow the link to submit an application: https://bit.ly/3GDeyyo